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Wednesday, 17 September 2014

4 Top Excuses For Not Submitting Your Homework/Assignment

Many students have a whole thesis on steps to prevent scoldings on not doing your home assignment. To be honest, even I have used these 4, and actually more. But, here are my 4 in ascending order. Excuses for not submitting your homework.

Number 4 - I had a headache/I was sick.  -  This is actually a lame one, but does actually make sense. If you are sick, and you are good enough at convincing at making up genuine and believable stories, you most probably be excused. Because Headaches are kind of easy to fake, another way to get away from giving your homework assignment is to fake an headache and sit for some 15 minutes - 20 minutes there. But, it's not that simple. First, you need to build up before time. Start with telling your close friends. Exaggerate about it, but not a lot. Then, tell the people whom you are not that close to, like the cool guys if you don't hang out with the people who get girls ; and you tell the nerd gang if you have a girl. Simultaneously, you also have to act weird, act like your actually sick, keep your head down etc. And three, you tell the teacher the 'truth'.

Number 3 - I didn't understand it. - I feel this is really cool arrow in the quiver. If the homework was meant to be done in a day, you will be 90% safe. If it was even 1 or 2 days homework not done, there's a 30% chance. Why? Because, if you learnt the topic just some hours ago and you didn't understand it, you cannot do your homework. Homework is just things done in school, again at home, right? However, if the homework has a due date of day after tomorrow, you had one whole day in school to ask the teacher or your friends how to do the question, which will lower your chances of survival. One way to fake this is to pretend as if you did not understand anything in the class being taught. If you can do that, you can not do tomorrow's homework, and probably get away with it. One way that I use occasionally is to just make a blank face, and when teacher says "did you understand?", damn right you're saying no. She will explain, still keep a blank face, even if you've got it. In case you forget, you're acting skills should help you set up your flee right away.

Number 2 - I was absent. - I think this is more of a global excuse to not doing homework. Though it's kind of a lame excuse, it does work if you're convincing enough. This has a 60% - 40% chance, which means that you may get away with it. But, if you get away with it, which you should, will get you a free pass to an extra class as well as watching others being tormented with the Shornado(Shouting Tornado). One great way to build this up is to genuinely be absent. Just kidding. All you need to do is 2 things. One - don't be an attention seeker. Don't even try to catch the attention of your teacher, which means she will not remember you being there, unless she has photographic memory, in which case your screwed. Try to be on the last bench if you can, will help. And the second one requires your close friends, and only them. None should know about this. You tell the teacher that he did not tell me, and point fingers at any two friends. But not any. It should seem like any. You have to carefully plan these events. Be sure to not catch attention generally, as others will still see you. Be with the class, just be in such a way that people don't know you're there. Which is hard. But, it can save you, has a good chance.

Number 1 - I forgot/lost my notebook/textbook.  - Another global excuse. This has a huge chance of working every time, and is my number 1 excuse. The good thing about this excuse is that it's easy to make up. But, if you say you don't have the book, you shouldn't. By chance if the teacher finds out that the book is in your bag, you are dead. Now remember what I said. Don't keep it with YOU. All you need is a good friend(probably someone who has done his homework{if he's your best friend, force him to do his homework}). One way to execute this trick is to tell the friend to keep your notebook in his bag, so that when the teacher asks you to show your bag, you will not have to be worried(low chance of teacher finding out. Don't tell the world). You may get some kind of note, but hey, at least no scoldings. If you want no kind of scolding, either do your homework, or tell the teacher I lost my notebook. And then say, you found it. But that's only a one time excuse. To make it even more realistic, tell your friend to say this: "Ma'am, I did see a notebook lying on the teachers table yesterday, but as I was in a real hurry because 'insert excuse', I could not pick it up." It will most likely work.

According to me, using all these are a thought which should come in your mind only when you genuinely forgot about your projects/assignments. Do your assignments, it will do you good, not the teacher. This is no encouragement write up, this is just for entertainment, and if you really are stuck up because you have no other choice. The best thing to do is to be honest. Be a good person. Do the right thing.

Sources - Experience and years of training.

Statutory Warning - All the above stunts are very well planned and should be done under expert guidance. Not all may work at any given point. Can cause injuries, also death. Thanks for your time! 

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